Tia Brooks
=I am Tia Brooks= My name is Tia Brooks and I was born on August 2, 1990 in Saginaw, Michigan to Cyd D. Neal and David Brooks. I am a recent graduate from the University of Oklahoma with a bachelors degree in sociology. I am a member of the University's track and field program and throughout this college experience have learned that my experiences have shaped my views and outlooks on life, also teaching me that my life transcends far beyond my ability to throw a shot put. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tia_Brooks My Family My idea of family does not fit into the typical definition or picture of the word. My family consists of the not only the one I was born into, but also the people who have been there for me throughout my childhood and adolescence into my current adult life. My immediate family includes my mother Cyd Neal, father David Brooks, oldest half brother David Kelley, age 28, brother DeMarcus Brooks, age 26 younger brother Tor'i Brooks, age 20 and younger sister Teiah Faulk, age 16. Growing up in my mothers single parent home with my siblings DeMarcus, Tor'i and Teiah proved to be nothing short of eventful, in fact the situations and experiences I had growing up more often than not included at least one if not multiple siblings. How They Met My parents met through a mutual friend in high school during a basketball game in which my father mistaken my mother for a male. They married not too long after graduating before my father entered the armed services. After being married for about six years my parents divorced and my mother was forced to become a single pregnant mother due to my fathers choice to no longer serve as a father to us. This situation hit far to close to home as my mother dealt with the same thing growing up with my grandfather being absent due to the same choice my father made. This taught my aunts including my mother to become very independent, opinionated, strong-willed women which was passed down to both my sister and I growing up. My mother and father both grew up in my hometown of Saginaw, Michigan which is where they call home, but my mother was born in Brooklyn, New York where my grandfather worked before being transferred to Michigan. My grandfathers and grandmothers parents were born, raised and married in Forest City, Arkansas where they both grew up. They met in the neighborhood at the ages of 13 and 14, inseparable ever since. My grandmother received a job offer with a hospital as a nursing assistant in St. Louis , MO, my grandfather followed her finding a job on an assembly line in a factory. During World War II my grandfather was offered a job in Brooklyn, New York working to disassemble defective bombs, which is where my mother along with her two older sisters were born. My grandfather was transferred to Saginaw, Michigan where the remainder of my mothers siblings were born and all raised, which is where they call home as it is their hometown. My fathers parents were born and raised in Saginaw, Michigan. My grandmothers maiden name and family (mothers side) dates back to Scotland which was only discovered through this project as our family's crest was found. Things I've Come to know The gender roles in my family are blurred as they do not fit what society would necessarily consider to be appropriate for women. All the women on my mothers side are very opinionated and outspoken except for my grandmother which proves to be difficult when growing up in a home full of siblings. My grandmother was very poor when attempting to care for my mother and her siblings, so the older children along with my mother were forced to grow up faster than usual. The idea that the oldest child residing in the home carried the burden of assisting the parent(s) with household duties as I was the one expected to handle those things after my older brother left. I was the second oldest child in my mothers home and was forced to work in order to get the things that I wanted and sometimes I needed when my mother could not afford them. Both my parents and their parents did not attend any school post high school and were forced to work all of their adult lives, as my parents are both still working. It was instilled in us at a very young age that college was the only option for us post high school according to my mother, and either grades or athletics would get us there. My grandmother and father had very traditional views on gender roles, as my grandfather looked to my grandmother as the housewife and child bearing, and himself as the bread winner and disciplinary. My grandmother was very submissive and introverted when it came to my grandfather and according to my mother “allowed for my father to do things that were not okay, we didn't have an opinion, we were kids and were supposed to listen to whatever he said”. My mother taught all of her children to be strong independent individuals as she had learned at an early age not to depend on anyone else due to my grandfather walking out on his family, and years later my father doing the same. My attitudes and values are shaped by the teachings of my mother, and have proved to hinder my social interactions at times. I have had to learn to shape my own values and beliefs based on my own experiences and it has proven to be a more difficult task then expected. =Love has no color= My family goes beyond the above mentioned relatives. Throughout my childhood living with my mother proved to be one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do and until going to college, I did not understand that the reason was because we were so much alike and that caused problems. When my mother and I would fight over simple things, such as cleaning the house after a track competition along with work I would escape to a neighbors home for sanctuary. Magan Denslow and David Perales along with their families and friends helped me get through my mothers house and kept me focused on the greater goals that I had planned for myself. They opened my mind up to things that I would have experienced without them and took me into their home as if I were their own child. Magan is of Caucasian decent while David is Panamanian and I look to them as my family as they were there for me and continue to be here for me in my times of need providing as much help as they can without question. Another family in which I associate myself with as being a part of are my best friend and sister Ashley Cariello’s family consisting of her mom Dawn Cariello whom I also call “mom” and her older brothers Jeff Cariello and Eric Cariello who protect me as if I were their biological baby sister Dawn “Mom” is a white women along with Jeff and Eric, but Ashley's biological father was black making Ashley biracial. The Cariello's unmeasured generosity they have shown and continue to show me is heartwarming as their support is in part the reason I am here at the University of Oklahoma. These two families have become a part of my family and will always hold a special place in my heart. Anything but Normal While doing this project I have learned so much about myself and it has forced me to take a look at myself and verbalize how I would identify myself and my “family.” In this class we have talked quite a bit about race and gender roles and my life does not fit the typical roles we have discussed. The experiences that I have had with Magan and her All American “white” family are not usually ones that a person of African American descent would have had the opportunity to experience, but they have shaped me into an open minded individual who knows that life has more to offer than color. We all are forced to identify and relate to a specific group of people based on race, gender, and social class but I have refused to allow those things to define me. My biological family's journey is very important to me as it allows for me to know more about my heritage and from where or what my family has come, but most of all the relationships that I have built with the other two families help to remind me of what family is really about. Every person will define the concept of family differently based on what their own family does well or lacks. I would define family as “the people who are there for you and genuinely care about your well-being, not because they have to, because they want to.” This defintion I learned transcends from my biological family to my extended family as all the people in my life that I consider to be family have supported me in all of life’s endeavors unconditionally, and even tho I failed to realize the importance of the lessons I which they were trying to teach me; I do now and they have never given up on me. I am a strong believer in “ everything happens for a reason”, and I believe wholeheartedly in the fact that the family that was built for me is the one that I need to cherish and protect with every ounce of being inside of me. =The Tree Describing Me= http://trees.ancestry.com/tree/55429132/family